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Word Power

Taming Your 'Not's  

Just Because  

Neutralizing  
Resistance To Change
  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word Power! Influencing Change
Neutralizing Resistance To Change And New Ideas

‛Talking’ The Middle Path
You can use simple everyday language to by-pass judgmental thinking and neutralize the natural resistance people feel when presented with a different point of view. Or when they face change. NLP provides a model for using the  indirect suggestions and language patterns that follow.

Have you ever had one of those days when … your unbridled enthusiasm for your own ideas, products or service, gets a way from you?  And before you know it, your words have unleashed passionate resistance in everyone who hears them?

Suddenly you're faced with a wall of objections and wondering if you'll ever be able to see your way clear, to get back on neutral ground!

Have you ever had an experience like this?  How does that happen? And even more important, how can you prevent it?

How does it happen?
Chances are you've been stepping on the other person's beliefs or even worse, their values. Questioning their perception of the world. It's unintentional, yet we all do it sometimes.

So how do you select language that is effective and non-threatening? Tip toeing through this virtual ‘mind field’ is easy when you know how.
It could be called ‘
talking’ the middle path.

First, let's look at the language of absolutes, all or nothing direct, like verbal short-cuts.


The Language of Absolutes
If you could, consider a few examples from everyday life:


“
Only our product can deliver this benefit.”
“We are number one in (our category.)”
“We are second to none.”
“Nothing can beat (us) for service and quality.”
“Anyone can see the clear advantage to doing it this
  way.
”  
“The only solution/the best solution is (our solution.)”
“That claim is totally unjustified/false.”
“It is a misrepresentation of facts.”
“Obviously the best/right thing to do is.”
“The fact is … (followed by our perception)”
“Everyone knows (this) isn't going to work.”
“You have to do it (this way.)”

Perhaps it's no wonder people occasionally resist these messages and express their displeasure by mindlessly striking back! Whether the words are true and valid, or not.

So how do you get your ideas across without diminishing or discounting the other person's point of view?

How do you introduce a new or different concept while remaining respectful of the knowledge, personal history and experience of the person you would influence?


 
How Do You ‘Talk’ The Middle Path?

Consider these examples, first the all or nothing language, followed by the indirect middle path.

“Only our product can deliver this benefit.”
“
Some people would say that our product is the only
  one to deliver this benefit.
”
Resistance
is displaced to ‘some people.’

“We are number one in (our category.)”
“While you may decide we are number one in our
  category, wait until after you have considered all the
  facts.
”

“
We are second to none.”
“When you weigh it up, you may find that we come out
  on top.
”

“Nothing can beat (us) for service and quality.”
“Even though others have told us we have the best
  quality and service, I think you should decide that for
  yourself
.
”

“Anyone can see the clear advantage to doing it this
  way.
”
“I can see a clear advantage in doing it this way. How
  does it look to you?
”

“The only solution/the best solution is (our solution.)”
“For me, the only/best solution is (our solution). What
  are your thoughts
about this?
”

“That claim is totally unjustified/false.”
“Based on what I've seen, I feel the claim has little to
  justify it. Can you fill in any information I may have
  missed?
”

“It is a misrepresentation of facts.”
“The facts as I have them tell a different story.
  Perhaps we need a more complete picture/a closer
  look at the context.
”

“The fact is … (followed by our perception)”
“Here is some information you may not have
  considered
yet. It may indicate …(followed by our
  perception.)
”

“Everyone knows (this) isn't going to work.”
“Many people would say this is going to fail (is
  unworkable.) Perhaps we can revisit the reasoning
  behind that.
”

“You have to do it (this way.)”
“I'm not going to say you have to do it this way,
  because I think it's better if you come to realize that
  for yourself once you consider …
”


In conclusion …
Some people may decide that
‘talking the middle path,’  using indirect language - is the long way around.

Others may remember hearing the old saying ...
“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”

And conclude that a short-cut can sometimes cause a loss of time - and that could be useful to remember.

If you'd like more on Word Power, or are interested in taking an NLP training or business workshop follow the link. 

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