Neutralizing
Resistance
To Change And New Ideas
‛Talking
The Middle Path
You can use simple everyday language to by-pass
judgmental thinking and neutralize the
natural resistance people feel when presented with a different point
of view. Or
when they face
change. NLP provides a model for using the indirect suggestions and
language patterns that follow.
Have you
ever had one of those days when
your unbridled enthusiasm for
your own ideas, products or service, gets a way from you? And before you know it, your
words have unleashed passionate resistance in everyone who hears them?Suddenly you're faced with a
wall of objections and wondering if you'll ever be able to see your way
clear, to get back on neutral ground!
Have you ever had an
experience like this? How does that happen? And even
more important, how can you prevent it?
How does it happen?
Chances are you've been stepping
on the other person's beliefs or even worse, their values. Questioning their perception of
the world.
It's unintentional, yet we all
do it sometimes.
So how do you
select language that is effective and non-threatening? Tip toeing
through this virtual mind field
is easy when you know
how.
It could be called talking
the middle path.First, let's look at the
language of absolutes, all or nothing direct, like verbal
short-cuts.
The
Language of Absolutes
If you could, consider a few
examples from everyday life:
Only
our product can deliver this benefit.
We
are number one in (our category.)
We
are second to none.
Nothing
can beat (us) for service and quality.
Anyone
can see the clear advantage to doing it this
way.
The
only
solution/the best solution is (our solution.)
That
claim is totally unjustified/false.
It
is a misrepresentation of facts.
Obviously
the best/right thing to do is.
The
fact is
(followed by our perception)
Everyone
knows (this) isn't going to work.
You
have to do it (this way.) Perhaps it's no wonder people
occasionally resist these messages and express their displeasure by
mindlessly striking back! Whether the words are true and valid, or not.
So how do you get your
ideas across without diminishing or discounting the other person's point of
view?
How do you introduce a
new or different concept while remaining respectful of the knowledge,
personal history and experience of the person you would influence?
How
Do
You
Talk
The Middle Path?
Consider these examples, first the all or nothing
language, followed by the indirect middle path.Only
our product can deliver this benefit.
Some
people
would say that our product is the only
one to deliver this benefit.
Resistance is displaced to some people.
We
are number one in (our category.)
While
you may decide we are number one in our
category, wait until after you have
considered all the
facts.
We
are second to none.
When
you weigh it up, you may find that we come out
on top.
Nothing
can beat (us) for service and quality.
Even
though others have told us we have the best
quality and service, I think you should decide that for
yourself.
Anyone
can see the clear advantage to doing it this
way.
I
can see a clear advantage in doing it this way. How
does it look to you?
The
only solution/the best solution is (our solution.)
For
me, the only/best solution is (our solution). What
are your thoughts about this?That
claim is totally unjustified/false.
Based
on what I've seen, I feel the claim has little to
justify it. Can you fill in any information I may have
missed?
It is a
misrepresentation of facts.
The
facts as I have them tell a different story.
Perhaps we need a more complete picture/a closer
look at the context.The
fact is
(followed by our perception)
Here
is some information you may not have
considered yet. It may indicate
(followed by our
perception.)
Everyone
knows (this) isn't going to work.
Many
people would say this is going to fail (is
unworkable.) Perhaps we can revisit the reasoning
behind that.You
have to do it (this way.)
I'm
not going to say you have to do it this way,
because I think it's better if you come to realize that
for yourself once you consider
In conclusion
Some people may decide that
talking
the middle path, using
indirect language - is the long way around.
Others may
remember hearing the old saying
...
A
man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.
And conclude that a short-cut can sometimes cause a
loss of time - and that
could be useful to remember.
If you'd like more on Word Power,
or are interested in taking an NLP training or business workshop
follow the link.
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